


A Curse of Life

by darktensh17



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alpha Kylo Ren, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Forced Pregnancy, M/M, Mates, Mpreg, Not Last Jedi compliant, Omega Poe Dameron, Poe Dameron Hurts So Prettily, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-08-08 17:24:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7766722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darktensh17/pseuds/darktensh17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While Poe is being held by the First Order, his suppressants begin to wear off. By the time Kylo Ren comes to interrogate him, he's beginning to go into heat. Kylo Ren takes advantage of the situation and rapes Poe. Later, after escaping, Poe not only has to deal with the aftermath of being mentally tortured and raped, but also the resulting pregnancy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For the TFA KINK:
> 
> "omega Poe, alpha Kylo Ren
> 
> While Poe is being held by the First Order, his suppressants begin to wear off. By the time Kylo Ren comes to interrogate him, he's beginning to go into heat. Kylo Ren takes advantage of the situation and rapes Poe. Later, after escaping, Poe not only has to deal with the aftermath of being mentally tortured and raped, but also the resulting pregnancy.
> 
> How Poe copes with his trauma and what he decides to do about his pregnancy is up to anon. Whatever happens, though, he has Finn and Rey there to take care of him and help him heal. "

“I had no idea we had the best pilot in the resistance on board.”

The metallic voice slowly brings Poe out of unconsciousness, and it takes him a moment to focus on the masked man crouching before him. Kylo Ren. The man who murdered Lor San Tekka and the villagers on Jakku.

“Comfortable?”

Poe struggles to find his usual cockiness and confidence; he can feel that something isn’t quite right. “Not really.” 

Kylo continues on, ignoring Poe as though he hasn’t spoken. Standing, he approaches Poe and he’s tall so very tall and intimidating. Everything about him screams power and control. “I’m impressed; no one has been able to get out of you what you did with the map.” 

“Might want to rethink your technique.” Poe laughs, but there’s an edge of hysteria to it as a cold sweat breaks out on the back of his neck, and he can feel his gut begin to cramp up. No. No. No. He wasn’t due for another shot of suppressants for another week. His body shouldn’t be any chance of his heat coming on. This shouldn’t be happening!

“I don’t think that will be a problem.” Even with the mask warping his voice, Poe can hear Kylo Ren gloating. “Soon you will reveal to me everything I wish to know, and you will do so willingly.” Kylo Ren takes a step back, reaching up to his mask and unclasping it. 

Poe isn’t sure what hits him harder, the rich smell of alpha or the sight of Ben Solo staring down at him with fevered eyes. 

Suddenly everything is so much worse as Poe’s body lurches with need, because it’s Ben! Ben, who Poe once loved. Ben, who was the first one Poe was ever with during a heat. Ben. Ben. Ben!

A full body shudder goes through Poe as Ben gently cups his face, bringing their lips together in a chaste kiss. “Where is the map to Skywalker?” Ben asks against his lips, and suddenly he gripping Poe’s hair tight enough to bring tears to Poe’s eyes.

Trembling with need, Poe shakes his head. He can’t betray the Resistance, it doesn’t matter that his body is telling him to give Ben everything that he wants because this is not Ben. Not anymore, at least. The man standing before Poe, giving off the sent of burning wood and electric circuits, is Kylo Ren and not the man Poe had once loved.

Fighting back the very instincts ingrained into his biology, Poe glares at Kylo. “The resistance will not be intimidated by you!” The words cost him more than Poe would ever admit. The slap that sends his face to the side, left cheek stinging is expected, though it doesn’t stop the way it stings.

“I was going to make this easy on you, but it seems you still wish to do things the hard way.” Kylo’s voice is hard as he steps back from Poe. “I will have both you and the information I need, one way or another.” 

With a gesture of his hand, all the restraints unlock, sending Poe crashing to the ground with a groan. When he tries to stand, he finds himself pressed against the ground by a heavy weight of another body. Even as he wills himself to struggle, Poe can feel himself pressing up against Kylo’s body in desperation. Already he can feel his pants becoming damp with slick as his body readies itself for the alpha pressed against him.

Poe doesn’t want this, not like this at least, but that choice has been taken away from him by Kylo and his own biology. “Ben. Ben don’t.”

It’s getting hard to think as his heat begins to fully take him, and he doesn’t realize he’s started begging until he feel’s Kylo’s hand gripping the back of his neck tight enough to restrict his air flow. “Do not call me that name, you will call me Master.”

All Poe can manage is a whimper, not fully comprehending the words. What he does understand is that Kylo is so hard against him and he wants him, needs him inside of him. “Please,” he begs, dropping his head to the floor as he pushes his hips up against the alpha’s. “I need it.”

“I know what you need Poe and I am the only one you will ever need.” Kylo’s hands are grasping at his clothes, pulling his pants down and off. Every touch is electricity against Poe’s skin and he tries to keep still enough that he doesn’t distract or delay Kylo. 

There’s rustling behind him as Kylo removes his own clothes, before pressing himself against Poe’s slick entrance. For a moment nothing happens as Kylo does nothing more than rub himself against Poe, spreading a smear of precum between Poe’s cheeks.

While Poe’s biology is screaming with need, deep inside his mind Poe is simply screaming. He doesn’t want this, can’t fight it, and he’s so afraid. Afraid and ashamed because he can’t fight this; best pilot in the resistance and he’s being rutted by the enemy, and begging for it like a nubile virgin.

When Kylo presses in all thought stops and there is only feeling. Poe’s body yields easily to Kylo, stretched and filled in a way he hasn’t been able to experience for oh so many years. Poe keens in need and delight as Kylo fucks into him. No tenderness given or needed. 

Mind hazy with pleasure Poe loses track of everything else. It only comes back when his body stretches impossibly wide and he feels himself being filled, knows his body is drinking Kylo’s seed greedily. Poe himself is still hard, graving, and he whispers a rush of thank yous as Kylo’s hand wraps around his weeping erection, stroking it once twice, three times, before he is coming with a shuddering cry.

Slowly, awareness creeps back into Poe’s mind and with it, horror. No. No. No. He tries to pull away but Kylo is still within him, his knot swelled to an impossible size. It will be some time before he shrinks enough to pull out of Poe.

It’s during this time, while Poe’s mind is still hazy, that Kylo reaches in and Poe can feel him rooting around, searching for something. BB-8 the map to Skywalker. Poe tries to fight the fingers that are digging through his memories. General Organa has given him some rudimentary training on how to resist this. She taught him how to put up mental blocks and push thoughts against the Force intrusion. Poe desperately tries to pull up the blocks, but his mind is still caught between the haze of his heat and the pleasure of being knotted.

Kylo easily swats aside all his attempts and then finally Poe can feel him pulling up the events of what happened on Jakku. Poe doesn’t even know when it happened; a day ago, two, a week? How long has he been on the Finalizer? The hours have blurred together between pain and unconsciousness. 

“There it is.” Kylo purrs victoriously, exiting Poe’s mind, not without leaving a bit of himself within it. In the back of his mind Poe can still feel Kylo there, feel his claim over Poe, a constant reminder. “You put it in your little astromech, how quaint.” 

Poe can’t even deny the truth of it, Kylo took the memory from his mind and there is no denying it. It doesn’t stop the knowledge that he has failed from making him feel nauseated. Not only failed, but betrayed the Resistance. Poe knows that Kylo took more than just that memory. Kylo makes sure Poe is aware that he now has knowledge of the current location of the Resistance base. With that knowledge comes the thought that Poe has just given up the only hope of taking down the First Order.

There is no escape from either Kylo or that knowledge as Poe fights back broken sobs, locked in position until Kylo’s knot shrinks enough for him to slip out of Poe. It doesn’t help Poe’s mental state that Kylo ‘comforts’ him by assuring Poe that he will never allow harm to come to him. “You’re mine after all, and I will keep you safe and at my side forever.”

When Kylo finally does pull out of Poe, he presses a kiss to Poe’s hair as he stands. Poe can hear him cleaning himself up, and when he looks back he can see Kylo donning his mask once more. Soon after he orders a medical droid into the room to clean and care for any wounds Poe may have.

Once this is done and the droid is gone, Kylo himself returns Poe to his previously restrained position, petting his face tenderly as he does. “I will return to you after I have found your droid. Once that is done we can watch the destruction of your precious Resistance and soon after the fall of Skywalker together. It will be my gift to you, my pet.” 

With as much defiance as he can muster, Poe spits at Kylo’s mask, fighting back hopelessness with Light. As long as BB-8 is safe, there is still a chance. “I am not your anything and the Resistance will not fall.”

“It’s adorable that you’re trying to make yourself believe that.” Kylo says as he wipes away the spit. “For now you will sleep and when I return I will bring you to your new quarters.” 

Poe feels pressure against his mind and he can’t help the cry of pain that escapes him as Kylo presses himself into all the corners of Poe mind until everything fades to black.

-

The sound of his cell door opening wakes Poe; he doesn’t know how much time has passed. The fear that Kylo is back, that he’s found BB-8, curls in Poe’s gut. Hearing the exchange at the door doesn’t help.

“Ren wants the prisoner.” 

Poe is barely aware as he’s removed from the restraints, and a pair of cuffs is slapped on to his wrists. What happens next is hard for Poe to comprehend. 

A rescue.

A defecting stormtrooper. 

This all seems too good to be true, there must be something else. Then it hits Poe and he says with confidence. “You need a pilot.” 

“I need a pilot.” The man in front of him confirms and Poe can’t help but smile for the first time since before he left for Jakku.

Feeling confident and hopeful again, Poe nods. “We’re gonna do this.” 

The other man looks uncertain but hopefully. “Yeah?”

The next hour is a wild ride that ends with the two of them stealing a TIE fighter in a mad dash for freedom. When Poe learns his rescuer’s designation, he doesn’t let it stand. “Well I ain’t using it! FN, huh? Finn. I’m gonna call you Finn. That all right?”

“Finn, Yeah, Finn, I like that! I like that!” There’s so much joy in Finn’s voice that Poe can’t help but smile. It’s easy enough to push what occurred earlier from his mind when it looks like they’re going to pull this off. 

“I’m Poe. Poe Dameron.” He tells Finn, wishing he could give him a more proper greeting. Trying to evade shots from a star destroyer doesn’t allow for much of that.

Finn doesn’t seem to mind, turning around enough that Poe can see him grinning at Poe. “Good to meet you, Poe!”

“Good to meet you too, Finn!” 

After that, things go horribly wrong. They’re hit and careen toward Jakku, and when Poe wakes the sun is shinning brightly over him and there is no Finn and no TIE fighter in sight. It’s all Poe can do to move forward; he mourns his new friend, but his mission still comes first. With unsteady steps he begins walking, determined to find BB-8 and civilization so that he can tell General Organa and the Resistance what has happened and help them find a way to stop whatever it is Kylo Ren may have planned.


	2. Chapter 2

For Poe, the next few days consist of a constant rush of occurring events. After crash landing on Jakku Poe has not stopped; Takodana, reuniting with Finn, Starkiller, Han’s death, Finn’s injury, Rey’s departure to find Luke Skywalker, and then the need to find a new base for the Resistance now that D’Qar was compromised, and most recently, moving to said base. 

The only good things that have come from all this chaos, at least for Poe, are Finn and Rey. Poe hadn’t met Finn and BB-8’s new friend until the first night he’d stood vigil over an unconscious Finn in medbay. Rey had been there and after an awkward silence Poe had asked her how she was. That simple question opened up the first of many discussions, and now even with Finn awake and Rey still on Ahch-To, Poe and Finn still had weekly holocalls with Rey when it was possible.

With Rey away and now that the Resistance was settled into their new base, Poe had a lot of time to become close with Finn, introducing him to the life of a Resistance member, and in some ways to life in general. There were so many things that Finn had not experienced being raised as a Stormtrooper. It was endearing watching Finn learn, and Poe was soon finding himself falling in love with the man.

Poe rubs tiredly at his eyes as he takes Black One in for a landing, trying to focus his thoughts on the task at hand. He’s been having trouble sleeping the last two weeks, the nightmares he’s been having since his escape from the Finalizer becoming more prominent as he finds himself with less pressing matters to occupy his mind. 

{Poe is operating at below optimal levels.} BB-8 beeps at him, concern evident in the shrillness of the binary. {It is advised that Poe seeks rest as soon as debriefing has concluded.}

“That’s the plan, B,” Poe tells the little droid. “The sooner we’re landed the sooner we can get ourselves back to our bunk to get some rest. Let’s take her down.” BB-8 beeps an affirmative and together they bring Black One on to the tarmac below. 

Once he’s sure that Black One is in good hands – he’s very protective of his baby – he and BB-8 head toward the command room to tell General Organa what they’ve found on their patrol. 

“Nothing. No signs of the First Order, not even the hint of a smuggling operation,” Poe tells General Organa, finding it difficult to focus on her. “Either we’ve picked the Galaxy’s most unknown spot or something big is brewing and everyone is keeping their noses to the ground and out of harm’s way.”

General Organa’s expression is neutral, but Poe can see a crinkling of concern around her eyes. He doesn’t really look that bad does he? “Thank you Commander. We’ll send rotating patrols in pairs out to keep an eye out on things. Hopefully the lack of activity is due to our location and not because of something big coming.” She smirks just slightly. “Of course, in my experience that usually means a shit storm is coming.”

Poe cracks a smile at that. “We’ll just have to make sure we’re ready to fight back, just like we always are.” 

“After Starkiller we have the advantage, but we can’t allow ourselves to get cocky. Chances are they’re already making another super weapon, if history is any indication.” Sighing, General Organa waves her hand in his direction, formality dropped. “If that’s all Commander, I suggest you get some sleep, you look ready to collapse on your feet.”

BB-8 beeps his agreement. {Poe has been operating under strain. Vitals are consistently lower than the optimal range; temperature has been higher than normal.}

“It’s just nightmares General; I haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep in a few days.” Poe says hurriedly, before she has a chance to lecture him. He doesn’t want to risk being grounded due to his health. “I’m planning on rectifying that tonight.”

General Organa looks him over with an appraising eye. “Have you spoken to the Dr Arwyn about what happened to you on the Finalizer?” 

She’s asking about his nightmares, or rather testing to see if he actually has them. “Yes ma’am, several times. She’s doing what she can to help me out, but even then it’ll take time.” Poe isn’t stupid, he isn’t going to risk the life of his pilots or anyone else on the base by keeping things bottled up. “If things get worse I’ll talk to either her or Dr Kalonia about prescribing a mild sedative.” 

That seems to satisfy the General, and she nods toward the door. “Get out of here and sleep, then. Don’t forget to talk to your stray; he’s been anxious the last few days while you were gone.”

There’s a knowing look in her eyes, and Poe finds himself fighting back a blush. He’s known General Organa since he was just a child, and she’s watching him grow up. She was there when he first presented as an omega, and had even approved of the match between her son and Poe, when Ben had presented as an alpha. They’d all agreed to wait until Ben was finished Jedi training before allowing the two to bond. Luke, luckily, had never subscribed to the part of the Jedi code that preached abstinence. 

Poe and Ben had one magical night together, forming a mating bond. Two weeks later that bond had snapped with what Poe thought was the death of his mate. It had taken him years to work through the grief of Ben’s death. 

Except Ben wasn’t dead, or at least his body wasn’t. Poe feels the dark sense of Kylo Ren in his mind. The alpha hadn’t marked him after what had happened in the interrogation room, and he hadn’t needed to; Poe and Ben had been mated already, it was only a matter of bringing the long dormant bond back to life.

“Poe, are you still with me?” 

Poe doesn’t realize he’s spaced out until the General’s words pull him back to the present. “Sorry General, I really am just tired.” 

“Get some rest, then.” The words are a command as much as a suggestion and it’s easy for Poe to follow them.

Like her son, the General is an alpha, where her brother was an omega, and Han Solo had been a beta. Poe’s own parents were both betas, and Poe had grown up thinking this was likely how he would present as well. Presenting as an omega had come as a shock to Poe, but he’d learned to live with it; the Republic didn’t discriminate against anyone’s dynamics and so long as Poe took his suppressants or could keep schedule of his heats, he was allowed to fly. The same applied to the Resistance. 

General Organa never used her status as an alpha to get the result she wanted, but sometimes there was just enough of it in her voice that Poe could find himself obeying without thinking twice. 

“Goodnight General.”

“Goodnight Poe.”

With BB-8 rolling along at his heels, Poe made his way to his quarters, keying in the code and walking over to flop onto his bed. He was so exhausted that he didn’t bother undressing, he simply toed off his boots and was asleep within moments.

-

He wakes to the sound of Ren’s voice in his ear, frustrated and angry. There are several moments where he lays in bed trying to breathe, trying to ignore the command that is running through his body. Come to me. Ren’s voice in his mind, calling him and Poe’s body saying yes, yes I will while his mind said no, never!

BB-8 powers up and chirps at him in concern. {Does Poe require a doctor?}

“No B, I just need a minute.” Poe fights against the instincts ingrained in his biology and slowly manages to suppress and push away Ren’s command. He’ll deal with the fact that Ren is so obviously still in his mind at a later time. Other than perhaps General Organa, there is no one else on base that can currently help him with that problem; Poe knows that it’s more than just mate bonding that’s responsible.

Sighing, Poe sits up, realizing that he has to pee, which has become an annoyingly regular occurrence over the last month, especially when Poe has always had a bladder of steel. Groaning, he fights back a wave of dizziness and makes his way to his private fresher, one of the many bonuses of being a commander and having private rooms. 

{Poe’s health has been declining.” BB-8 tells him sternly, following along after Poe. {Poe should seek medical aid.}

“A little sleeplessness has never killed anyone,” Which isn’t technically true, but Poe is confident it won’t kill him at least. “I’ll give it one more week and I swear, if my nightmares don’t get any better I’ll keep my promise to Leia and get some sleeping meds. Alright?” Poe only ever calls General Organa by her given name when they’re alone together in an informal setting, or to BB-8 who is familiar with Poe and the General’s history. 

Since he knows he’s not going to get anymore sleep, Poe takes a shower and cleans up and then heads to grab a bite to eat once he’s dressed. Or at least he intends to, he’s been having trouble with eating as well; between general nausea and a lack of desire to eat any of his favourite foods, Poe has found that the only thing he can stomach is the overly bland gruel that gets made for those Resistance members who didn’t enjoy life (or so Poe had thought until it became part of his primary diet).

Today he managed to add some fruit into the gruel to give it a little life.

The planet’s twin suns were just beginning to rise when Poe made his way out to the X-Wing hanger to look over Black One and make sure the mechanics had been kind to her, which they always were. Even so, Poe spent the next several hours working on her, running through a mental checklist of any concerns he’d had during his flight.

He doesn’t notice the hours are flying by until he realizes that the constant ringing in his ears is actually from a headache and not from something he’s doing. When he stands up, Poe fights back a groan at the pain in his back. “I must be getting old B, I used to be able to spend hours doing maintenance work.” 

BB-8 swirls their optical lens to not so much look but to glare at Poe. {Poe’s body is in distress due to lack of nutrition, rest and elevated body temperature. An appointment with Dr Kalonia is advised.}

Poe doesn’t dignify BB-8’s comment with a reply as he’s already assured the droid that he’d eventually go see the good doctor, and only if he absolutely had to. Rubbing at his lower back to relieve some of the pain, Poe set about putting his tools away. When he was done he found it difficult to get back up, the world seemed to be intent on spinning.

Maybe a quick rest here against Black One wasn’t a bad idea, the ladder isn’t the best of pillows but it will do for now.

“Poe?” It seems to Poe that as soon as he closed his eyes someone was walking him up. “Poe, buddy c’mon, this isn’t the place to take a nap.” 

Someone is shaking him now and with a grunt of protest Poe slowly blinks his eyes open. At first he only sees a dark blurry shape before his gaze focuses. “F-Finn?”

Finn brightens at that, “Yeah, I was worried about you. First I couldn’t find you anywhere and now here you are taking a nap in the hanger.” His expression morphs into one of worry. “You’re still not sleeping well at night? You promised me you’d see Dr Kalonia as soon as you got back from your mission.”

BB-8 doesn’t take that revelation too well, beeping shrilly at Poe about lying and being irresponsible. Poe is thankful that Finn can’t yet understand binary or else the two would most certainly gang up on Poe (not that they don’t already).

“I don’t know what BB-8’s mad about but I can guess.” Finn says accusingly. “C’mon, we’re going to see Dr Kalonia.” 

Poe really doesn’t want to see the good doctor, she probably has more important patients to deal with, but he allows Finn to pull him onto his feet, only to stumble and fall against him.

“Poe!” The words are shouted directly into his ear, causing the pounding in Poe’s head to worsen. He can feel Finn’s arms around him keeping him upright. “Shit, we really need to get you to medbay.”

“No, I just want to go to sleep, please.” Maybe he’s begging, but he just wants to sleep it all off; fatigue, nausea, these constant headaches, everything. Lately it feels like Poe’s body has been attacking him systematically and he’s not sure why or what to do to fix it. “You can take me to medbay tomorrow if I’m not better. Both of you,” he adds for BB-8’s peace of mind.

Finn seems like he’s about to argue but he concedes with an annoyed sigh. “Alright, but the first sign that anything is wrong and you’re going to see Dr Kalonia.” 

“Pilot’s honour,” Poe says, too exhausted to manage more than a half salute. 

Finn says nothing as he helps Poe back to his quarters and tucks Poe carefully into bed, making sure he’s comfortable and that there is water within reach in case he needs it. Despite being a beta, Finn had quite a few omega tendencies, and taking care of others seemed to be one of them. Poe is certain that Finn’s desire to care for others is what is going to make him a great medic once he gets started with training.

“I almost forgot! Rey’s supposed to be coming back this week!” Finn tells Poe excitedly. “She’s supposed to be bringing Skywalker with her.” 

The thought of Rey brings a smile to Poe’s face. For someone who was raised secluded, Rey is so full of life and has so much love to give and she can do so without worry about being constrained by dynamics. Much like Finn, Rey is a beta, even though she can present more like an alpha at times. Not that dynamics are ever black and white. Poe is happy that neither Rey nor Finn will have to go through heats or ruts, being controlled by your body’s natural urges on such a level where all thought escapes you, is just not something Poe has ever wished on anyone.

Poe realizes that Finn is waiting for an answer, and he grins at him sleepily, reaching over to pat Finn’s hand. “That’s great buddy, I can’t wait to see her again, and I bet you can’t either.” 

There’s so much love in Finn’s expression at the thought of Rey and Poe feels his heart tighten at the sight of it, wishing that Finn would look at him with that same expression. What could an omega like Poe ever really offer Finn though? Especially one that’s carrying another’s mark and bond? 

A traitorous part of his mind reminds him that he shouldn’t even be able to feel love for someone other than his alpha. Poe spent so long learning to live without Ben and the absence of his mate, that the knowledge that he is alive as Kylo Ren hasn’t sunk in. Or maybe it’s because Kylo isn’t Ben that Poe can still love another. 

It’s all too much to think of in the state he’s in now, and Poe gives Finn’s hand a squeeze before drifting off.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hark an update! Beta'd by the wonderful Zoe_Dameron <3

A good night’s sleep seems to be just what the doctor ordered, or at least enough to away from the doctor. For once, he has no nightmares, and he attributes it to Finn’s presence in his bed when he wakes up. Neither of them considers it odd nor reacts awkwardly about sharing a bed. Poe is sure he should be feeling a little guilty but it’s buried underneath the warmth that spreads through his chest at the way Finn smiles sleepily over at him.

_I could get used to this_ , he can’t help but think to himself, ignoring the pull of his mating bond at the back of his mind. Kylo has no strength over him during the day. Or maybe it’s just that Poe is better at resisting him awake and after a good night’s rest.

Poe actually feels pretty good when he wakes up the next morning; he even manages to eat a breakfast that’s similar enough to what he used eat. Finn and BB-8 both look pleased that he seems to be doing better.

Afterwards there’s mission planning to do and reports to write. Poe spends the day in his office thinking nothing of the past few days of illness. The only symptoms that seem to persist are his headache and terrible backache that he quickly attributes to being cooped up all day doing paperwork. He’s infinitely glad when Finn comes to rescue him for dinner and to go out and watch the stars come out.

It’s been ages since Poe has simply sat down and looked up at the stars listening to Finn talk about all the places that he’s been, learning about, and would like to visit. Poe wants to promise to take Finn to every one of them. Though he doesn’t voice the sentiment out loud, he thinks that maybe Finn already knows just what Poe is thinking.

Unbidden, he feels himself relaxing, and he doesn’t realize that he’s leaning against Finn until the other man wraps a shy arm around him. Even then he doesn’t move away, allowing himself this small moment of happiness. He doesn’t even realize he’s fallen asleep or that Finn has carried him back to his quarters and tucked him into bed.

It’s only when he wakes up screaming with Kylo Ren’s voice shouting **_mine mine mine_**! in his head that he becomes aware of any of that, and that is only after he’s finished with his mad dash to the fresher to vomit up everything he has in his stomach.

{Poe?} BB-8 chimes inquisitively as he rolls to sit outside the door of the fresher. {Do you require medical aid?}

“No B, just a bad dream.” Standing on shaky legs Poe rinses his mouth and washes his face. He can feel his entire body trembling and can’t seem to stop it. “I just need a moment.”

BB-8 rolls over to him and rests against his shin, cooing up at him lovingly in a manner that is comforting. Sinking down to his knees, Poe wraps his arms around BB-8 and hugs him until the shakes die down and he’s back to some semblance of normality. If there’s tears in his eyes, well, BB-8 is kind enough not to mention them.

“Thanks B.” Pressing his forehead to BB-8’s dome, Poe allows his eyes to slide shut. He’s still exhausted. “You’re the best buddy a guy could have.”

Trilling a pleased acknowledgment, BB-8 rocks back and forth slightly, though not enough to dislodge Poe. {Poe is BB-8’s pilot and best friend. BB-8 will care for Poe and keep him safe.}

“I’ll keep care of you too buddy, you’re the best.” Poe fights back a yawn and can only grin when BB-8 admonishes him and insists he head back to bed. “Yeah, you’re right. Sorry for waking you up.” With heavy limbs, Poe drags himself back to bed and is out like a light within moments. This time he thankfully doesn’t have any dreams at all

-

The next few days go the same way: sleep, wake screaming, throw up, have a headache, and feel achy and exhausted all day. His one day of respite seems more like a cruel form of mockery now as he deals with this continued cycle. Sometimes there are some other lovely symptoms thrown in just for fun; such as being able to smell Snap’s snack from the other side of the hanger, and then having to run into the nearest fresher to lose his lunch.

Poe’s been managing to keep a lot of these mostly hidden from BB-8 and Finn, who have taken on the role of monitoring Poe’s health, but even Poe is staring to think he needs to suck it up and go see Dr Kalonia. Not only is it affecting his work, but he’s been losing weight, aside from his stomach, which has been horribly bloated due to whatever illness appears to be ailing him. He can’t fly missions or lead his pilots if he can’t even get himself out of bed due to weakness.

It’s on the day Poe finally makes the decision to visit the good doctor that an excited ripple goes through the base. The Millennium Falcon is returning. Poe catches Finn’s excited grin and gives the younger man a thumbs up as they make their way out on to the tarmac to wait for their friend.

By the time the Falcon touches down, a sizeable crowd has gathered and they cheer as the plank lowers allowing R2-D2, Rey, and Chewbacca to exit the freighter. There’s a moment of hushed silence as a cloaked figure descends behind them. It’s only broken when Leia all but runs over to her brother to pull him into a tight hug, and then the cheering is nearly deafening.

Amidst it all Finn, Poe, and BB-8 make their way over to Rey, both Finn and Poe pulling her into a tight embrace, which she returns with a joyful laugh.

“Look at you, a full-fledged Jedi padawan now!” Poe exclaims, looking at the lightsaber on her hip and her new robe. “You look great!” She’s lost that half-starved and feral look she had before, and filled out with more muscle and healthy body fat. She looks happier too as she smiles up at them both.

“I’ve missed you all and I have so much to tell you!” Rey beams with excitement as she leans down to give BB-8 his own hug before standing again. “Training has been amazing, I’ve learned so much already!”

Poe grins and pats her on the back. “You’ll have to show us then; no good in having all that new knowledge and not being able to impress those around you.”

Finn scowls playfully at Poe before turning his attention back to Rey. “You don’t have to do that, I’m sure there’s some sort of mythical Jedi code that prevents you from abusing your powers.”

Rey shakes her head, grinning brilliantly as she looks them over carefully. “I’ve really missed you both too much. And you too, BB-8!” she adds at the droid’s indignant beep at being forgotten. It doesn’t matter that she’s already said it; no one would blame her for her excitement or fault her for missing her friends.

“How about you tell us all about your training over a nice hot meal? I’ve shown Finn all the best food in the mess and didn’t get a chance to do the same with you before you left. I think it’s about time I fix that, don’t you?”

There’s a look of concern that flits briefly over Finn’s features before he’s nodding in agreement. “The desserts are the best thing you’ll ever taste Rey, especially the cakes.”

If Rey noticed Finn’s expression she says nothing, which Poe is thankful for. Instead, she hooks her arms into both other theirs. “Well, then what are we waiting for? All I ever got to eat while training with Luke was fish and a few edible plants that were growing on nearby islands. I’m due for something delicious after that.”

The way she is able to joke so easy now is heartening. Training with Luke really has been good for her.

-

Their trip to the mess goes surprisingly well; Poe even manages to get enough food in him that his stomach stops gurgling unhappily, and so far it seems that it’s going to stay down. Maybe Rey’s return with Luke Skywalker is the start of things turning around for the better for everyone.

At the moment, he’s content to listen to Rey and Finn talking, while only adding the occasional comment of his own. Currently, Finn is telling Rey all about the work he’s been doing with the Resistance.

Watching the two of them together, Poe could almost swear that they share a mating bond; they automatically angle their bodies to be as close to each other as possible, and there’s not a moment that they aren’t touching each other in some way. If the two weren’t betas, Poe is sure that they would be bonded.

At the thought of mating bonds, Poe’s vision unexpectedly goes white as he feels something trying to reach out to him, tugging his own bond. Poe can feel himself rising to his feet, looking in the direction the bond is being pulled.

_Where are you?_ The words are whispered in his mind and Poe wants to answer, but something holds him back. That way lays pain and danger. _You are mine, come back to me._

Every strand of omega in his DNA screams at him that he needs to answer his alpha, his mate, and Poe feels himself wavering, wanting to respond.

Abruptly the bond closes with a snap; still there but muted and distant. He can feel Kylo Ren’s rage but it’s no more than white noise at the back of Poe’s consciousness. Instead he finds himself blinking up from the floor, looking back at the worried faces of Finn and Rey.

“W-what happened?” His throat is sore and he’s not sure why. He can see people hovering nervously around them, and he catches something about a cart being sent from the med center.

“Kriff, Poe! We were talking and then you just stiffened and started to scream, you grabbed at your head and then fell on to the ground before suddenly just going limp. It scared the crap out of us!” Finn’s hands are fluttering nervously, holding back from reaching over and giving Poe a pat down to make sure that he’s physically okay. “Someone’s called medical and they’ll be here in just a moment so don’t move okay?”

The floor of the mess is hard against his back and Poe really wants nothing more than to move, but he knows that it’s safer to keep still in case he had hurt his neck or back in his fall. “Sure, I could use a nap anyway. No better place than the floor.” The attempt at humour is weak but it gets Finn to relax marginally.

Beside Finn, Rey has been worryingly quiet, and when Poe turns his head to look at her it’s to see her staring down at him with wide, wondering eyes. Her eyes aren’t quite focused on him and Poe gets the sense that she’s searching for something.

“Rey?” Trepidation is creeping up Poe’s spine; it’s never a good thing when a Force User is paying such close attention to you, even when they are on your side. “Are you okay?”

Her attention snaps back to him but the look of wonder doesn’t go away. “I felt it, Poe. . .” She says, which doesn’t help explain anything.

Poe doesn’t want to ask her what the felt but curiosity gets the better of him. “What did you feel, Rey?”

“The Force. . . as soon as you started screaming I felt two bright flickers of the Force reaching out and enveloping you and then you stopped screaming and collapsed.” Rey’s gaze roamed over Poe’s entire form before she looked back up at him. “Those Force signatures came from you. From inside you.”

The words are a punch to the gut. Without thinking, Poe moves his hands to the slight bulge that he has noticed forming as the pieces all click into place. It’s all too much to bear and his last thought before he loses consciousness is to wonder if Kylo knows. And, if so, how much danger has Poe been putting the Resistance in because of this?


End file.
